Timecheck

I'm almost done here. A few more weeks and I will be jumping into another city. Jumper? Actually, I will be going back to the old city where I used to be. I hated it being there so I kinda feel bad moving back. It's so negative for me thinking about "moving back". It gives me a clinch of the old me that I don't even want to remember. Basta sinabi ni boss na I have to go back, then I have to go back. Hell the clinch. Ano nga ba kasi 'yun?

I didn't realize how time really flies. So fast I couldn't catch it and buck. Parang nanghuhuli lang ng tutubing karayom sa bukid. Habol ka ng habol hanggang sa hindi mo naman mahuhuli tapos putikan ka pa sa bandang huli. So unfair. I got so occupied by my work and stuff and wasn't able to fulfill my plans I laid out first thing before I moved in here. It was bad as it sounded unfulfilled. But, it was good though since something has been done not as bad as how I expected it to be. What a cliché. Ako na ang may positive outlook sa buhay. Me already!

Anyway, wala namang importante sa post ko na 'to aside from I want to be cognizant of and put down into notes the major episodes of my life here in the desert island. The small details, I keep to myself, hihi. I'm making a checklist to know whether I'm still on good track and hope to transcend for a better one. Time check starts now.

▼ 2011
     ► May - It was a new job and I was succulently fresh. Ang masama naman ay halos lahat ng makaka salumuha ko araw-araw sa trabaho ay mas matanda pa sa nanay ko. No kidding, at least the way they look. Matanda na nga sila and still they act like such a grumpy grandma. Tama si Bob Ong and I quote - "Makakapili ka ng lugar na uupuan mo, pero hindi mo mapipili ang taong uupo sa tabi mo." Sounds bitter but makes sense. I so hate Bob Ong. Joke. I have no other choice but to get along with them. For the benefit of my job and my job alone. I don't care about them. Matatanda na nga sila 'di ba? Good thing hindi nila dala ang pang-gantsilyo nila sa trabaho at gawing past time during break time. Si ate at ang mahiwagang gantsilyo. Umay much.

Sa buwan na ito naisip kong magpahaba ng buhok. Maiba lang.

    ► June - Birthday ni ex so busy-busihan ang drama ko pero patay malisya pa rin akong nagtanga-tangahan kunwari namisdialled ko ang number nya then mega birthday greeting ako to her and my surprise. Baduy na obvious pa. Tsk tsk. Naglasing-lasingan ako buong gabi.

The saddest time of my life so far has arrived. Ang lagi kong iniisip na mangyayari at lagi kong pinaghahandaan ay sumapit na. Inasahan kong dadating ang oras na iyon sa 'di ko inaasahang panahon. So, I was a little prepared too. Ang gulo 'di ba? That is because it was the sudden death of my most loving, hard-working, understanding, jolly, cute nanay. She passed away of diabetes she's been fighting for years. Happy and sad at the same time. You can do the math. It was more sad though dahil hindi ako nakapasok ng dalawang araw na ang tangi kong ginagawa ay ang umiyak. Wala akong kadamay ng mga panahong iyon dahil bago lang ako sa lugar na ito. Things got tougher knowing that I can not leave my damn work to see my nanay for the last time. Salamat na lang sa skype at nakita ko sya ng buong tapang at salamat din sa lahat ng mga kaibigan at katrabaho kong nagbigay ng tulong sa abot ng kanilang makakaya. I know her soul is in peace now watching all of us from the heaven. I truly miss her everyday of my life that I can't even start writing about her until now. I love you nanay, so much...

At patuloy ang pagpapahaba ko ng buhok...

    ► July - Nasira ang video card ng laptop ko for the nth time. Dinala ko sya sa repair shop and I have decided to pay like six thousand worth of money in pesos sign. Kailangan kong maghintay ng ilang linggo para magawa ang lovable laptop ko so I have to know what else I could do dahil hindi ako makakapagsulat gamit ang mga papel at pluma. So, I enrolled myself in snow boarding lessons. Sa disyerto? Hallucination ito? Hindi, nagjo-jogging lang ako while reading books. Ignis fatuus, go!

Nagkasakit din ako sa buwan na ito. Naisip ko lang dahil yata sa pagpapahaba ko ng buhok.

   ►August - It's the hottest, scorching, most humid, blister-causing season of the year here near the equator. Kumapal ang balakubak ko mas makapal pa sa buhok ko. I have to find ways to get rid of the itchiness and flakes. Siyet. Sana naging skyflakes ka na lang, nabusog pa ako. Pero ang buwan na ito ay isa sa mga pinakamahalagang panahon sa mundo ng pagtuklas at siyensya dahil napag-alaman ko na ang pH care, yes pH care na ine-endorse ng mga magagandang babae sa tv na panghugas sa kanilang keps ay isa rin palang mabisang solusyon sa nangangati kong anit. Ginamit ko 'yung kulay lavender dahil mas tipo ko 'yung amoy. I always feel that my head is somewhere between the legs and in the middle of the forest finding that hole ready to be dug some more. Love it!

Lesson: Long hair + Balakubak = Eeeww!

   ►September - Nagsimulang magkaroon ng interruption of peace sa aking trabaho dahil sa lumalaking populasyon ng mga insekyorang camel sa paligid ko. I can't help it. I'm irresistibly absorbing. And so again, I simply thought of Bob Ong to promote peace and order and I quote - "Kung sa tingin mo naloko mo ako.. nag kakamali ka.. kasi ikaw ang naloko ko..pinaniwala kita na naloko mo ako (evil laugh -bwahaha)." Peace on planet of the apes is restored.

Nagkasakit ako ulit. pesteng buhok 'to!

   ►October - Ito ang huling linggo ko sa lugar na ito at masho-shock ang landlady ko kapag sinabi ko ito sa kanya. Lols! It's not my fault, it's my boss'. Ipasa ba? Kasi naman mahihirapan ulit sya sa paghahanap ng bedspacer pag alis ko. Apektado na ang budget, nawala pa si pogi hehe. Nagpagupit na kasi ako. Well, that's life. We simply go through sudden changes that simply rocks our ship. In her case as well as in mine. Kanya-kanya lang 'yan ng pinagdadaanan. I only have two words to say - accept and act. Check!

So, it's time for me to pack or should I say, re-pack my things and get ready to roll again. Ito lang ang isa sa mga pinagmamalaki ko sa sarili ko. I always make myself ready for anything that could happen. I always look at the positive side of things that's coming especially the shocking ones. Wala ng lugar ang mga butterflies sa stomach ko every time I feel discomfort. Manhid na ako sa mga sitwasyon na sinusubok ang tatag ko. My secret is - I always keep a big smile on my face and not let myself get feigned because I always let God work his ways on me. I guess with my nanay and God working together to guide me out  - I would always be on the right track. Amen.

Another year is about to come but like change, it doesn't have to be new.
What's important is that you have to know what you gotta do.

My Script

Hew!! I've been to the great shores of the Islands of Maldives and all I can say is - damn, how I wish! Haha! Malisyoso na, ambisyoso pa? Well, it's been six months since my last post and I know no one cares so hindi ko na rin ikukwento kung anung nangyari ng mga panahong iyon - kebs! Pero may few stories pa rin ako sa kagustuhan ko dahil wala naman nagbabasa nito kundi ako. So, reflection mode - on!

I got transferred to another city within this dented country and hoping that I could have more time to reflect and eventually to write some more bullshits about myself and I'm so lucky not to do so. This place is not only a sinkhole but so pathetic in so many ways. In short, hindi kami nag-jive ng place na 'to simply because I'm pathetic to start with. Like poles repel, right? Whatever. Hindi ako magnet.

Speaking of Maldives, I had a conversation with a friend who have just been to the place. He told me about how beautiful and majestic (yes, the term was majestic kase gerlash yung friend ko) the place is and he is planning to move there because he got tired of this place considering his job. And yes, pathetic din sya kaya di rin sila in good terms ng city na 'to. Insekyora. Anyways, wala akong balak mag move-in sa Maldives. Na-inspire lang ako of his story and I got wet dreams just thinking about it. Na-imagine ko lang kung gaano kaganda ang Maldives so search ko sya sa google. And it's true, nag-wet dreams ako sa ganda ng islands. This place is my dreamland because I'm hooked into lying shirtless under the gazing sun, the feeling of soft white sand in my skin of sunblock lotion and diving through the waves of  fresh sea water na pwede kong ibuhos sa aquarium namin sa bahay to match my favorite tamban fishes. Maldives + Me = Perfect. But, the worse settled in again. My first thought was the great quotation "No man is an island"  then boom! - melodramatic to the fullest mode. I suddenly thought that this kind of place is not even close to a dreamland if you are living alone in it. Someone have to share to someone the serenity of it which is so conducive to sex sleep. Mahirap matulog dito ng mag-isa. Malungkot kahit masarap ang simoy ng hangin, tahimik at walang lamok na kakagat sa makikinis kong legs. So the worst part is, my imagination lead me to annihilation. Hano dhaw?!

Enough for the conceptual intro kuno. Kahit anong gawin ko hindi naman ako makakarating ng Maldives kahit na honeymoon ko pa ang okasyon. Meron lang akong ishe-share na mga music videos. I have been a fan of this group since na heart broken ako years ago and I'm sure isa rin sila sa mga dahilan kung bakit napakaraming taong nahihirapan mag move-on. I have noticed that these three music videos have some connection to each other. More of a story of someone going through a very painful separation experience with someone they loved and who once loved them. May connect ang mga videos na ito to certain stages of what a heart-broken person is going through and I was a genius to find it out while imagining Maldives Islands na nasa likod-bahay ko lang. Conceptual, right?

The Script... Sila ang favorite band ko - ever. I like how they made the songs. So intense and I feel like they spoke the heart of a heartbroken. Exact words with all emotional melody. Suits the person na malapit ng mag-suicide attempt. Let's start with their song Breakeven. Ito yung videong naglalarawan ng first stage ng break-up. Track 01 - play!

Then, here goes Nothing. Ito ang video na inspired by me. Dapat ako ang nasa video na ito. I know because I've done this a zillion times. Track 02 - play!

Lastly, The Man Who Can't Be Moved. Kapag hindi pa rin nakakahanap ng bagong jowa ang isang iniwan ganito ang drama. Track 03 - play!

I hope you liked the videos. Kung hindi nyo nakuha ang connection-stages ek-ek na sinabi ko, try nyong makipag break para maka-relate kayo. Ma'a as-salaama!