My Gay Life

 

This is making me feel more comfortable. Opening myself in this very unpopular internet space, I'm considering myself making my way out of the closet. I still have a long way to go but since I don't believe that every gay person need to do a come out and so, it's fine. No argument needed. I just need an outlet where I can express myself some more. To speak my mind. So beware, this story is definitely not for kids. There's a lot of eating involved and so - let's chow chow!

Pasintabi sa english na intro. Yan lang talaga ang lumabas sa utak ko. Naalala ko din na unang beses akong nagka-crush nung grade three.  Nagustuhan ko siya kasi maganda si "G" (first letter of her name). That class picture captured it all. My first landian experience was with her. 

Then there was another "G" nung grade six. Si "M" at "M" nung first year high school, at si "R" nung fourth year. Lahat sila naka-MU ko at lahat sila ay babae. Wala akong recollection na nagkagusto sa lalaki nung bata. Ang naaalala ko lang ay nahuli ako nung bayaw ko na nagjajaks. High school ako nun at di ko sure kung babae o lalaki ang inspirasyon ko dun.

Two years ang age gap namin ng ate ko at naglalaro kami noon ng mowdeling. Pinaparampa nya ako ng naka palda. Hindi ko lang maalala kung gusto ko yung ginagawa ko pero lagi akong in character. Enjoy din ako sa Ms. Universe nun dahil ginanap siya sa Pinas pero the same time, naglalaro din ako ng mga cars, soldiers and transformer toys with the boys. 

I also happen to be a victim of sexual harassment when I was young. May kapitbahay kaming bakla na nagsasamantala sa akin by playing with my tool. It happened many times but I don't know what effect it had in me aside from knowing I was being manipulated by a pervert. Ang alam ko lang, may kalendaryo kami ng 'gwapings' sa kwarto at yun ang naging biktima ko ng sexual fantasies ko. 

Marami akong poging classmates nung college pero sa babae pa din ako nagka-crush. Si "J". Torpe at mahirap akong tao noon kaya hanggang crush lang ako. Not until nagka-trabaho ako at kumita ng pera at nakilala si "M" sa office. She became my first girlfriend, bestfriend at live in partner. Tumagal ang relasyon namin ng tatlong taon and it was the best of my life then. We were both active sa sex and I couldn't ask for a better partner that time. She broke up with me sa Dubai. It was my first.

Before ako nakarating ng Dubai at the age of 25, I somehow explored my sexuality. I had another girl crush sa office, si "B". She is very beautiful and I thought she is also into me. Committed pa ako nun and faithful kaya walang nangyari. Pero ang totoong nangyari, I went out with this gay guy sa office and spent a night with him. There was no sex but there was a little intimacy. After that little 'date', I started to go to sticky movie houses in down town Manila, tried to quietly pick up callboys from time to time and somehow ended up robbed at one time. The usual experiment you know.

Is this boring you now? Let's see. Ipasok na yung 'a lot of eating involved' sa scene. Push!

Nung nakarating na ako sa Dubai, parang isinilang ako ulit. Wala akong nakikitang maganda o pogi sa paligid. Dubai, hello, overflowing arabo memsh pero dedma talaga ako. Ang tanging goal ko ay ang bumuo ng perfect future with my girlfriend "M". Unfortunately, she fell out of love with me. I was devastated and ruined, helpless and lost. Until I got my first job. 

Jordanian yung boss ko. Pogi at approachable. I didn't get his signals when he tried to pinch my nipples inside the office or wink at me with a beautiful manly smile. Like all the signals I'm getting from my other arabic co-workers and foreign taxi drivers because I was so damn busy fixing my broken future with "M". Although "M" don't care anymore, but not my hunky arabic boss "J". 

"J" comforted me, and so I thought. He invited me for a joyride around the city and it was fun. He took me to the beach and talked in the sand under the moonlight. He was so smooth to outsmart me letting me fall to his lair. Sabi niya sa akin, babae daw ang tingin niya sa akin. Na-confuse ako at kinabahan. Lalo na nung sinabi niya na gusto niya akong halikan. Daaayyy jusko hinalikan niya ako sa open beach, sa lips, with dila! Potah nagkatotoo yung sinabi niya. Pakiramdam ko babae nga ako. 

There's no other place to go. Na-magnet na ako. Kahit bawal sa tinitirhan kong flat ang bisita, lalo na ang ibang lahi, napapasok ko siya sa kwarto ko. Sobrang kaba ko pero masaya because we're kissing like a newly wed couple. I admired him lalo na nung hindi niya ako pinilit ipenetrate when he asked. "J" is really a gentleman and I think that's how it all started. My gay life has come to life!

Nagka-girlfriend pa ako ng isa, si "M". Ma-el si "M" at magaling sa kama. Marami siyang pamahiin sa sex but I don't complain. Our irreconcilable differences brought us apart. Then came "L". Hindi siya girlfriend but we had something. It didn't work out with her too dahil marami nang nagbago sa paniniwala ko. She is wife material and I regret we didn't get a nice break up. 

That's all the girls at wala nang sumunod. Pero yung mga lalaki, sobrang dami. I can't count it. Different nationalities, different places. Different sex adventures with all different dangers. I think I had it all from two to three some, cam shows and stuff. I've also met a few good men who have the same discreet life as I do, with issues and who knows if they regret it or not. I don't. All o'these things really have a lot of eating involved for real. Also pissing and jacuzzi. 

It was really really fun. 

more to come...