♥ attack

Mahilig akong manuod ng mga romantic flicks english movies (at tagalog din kung si john lloyd ang bida). I always get inspired by it because it doles so much to hopeless romantics like me. Ako na ang sawing aabutin ng isang century to move on. Kung bakit, wala kayong pakialam. Hilig ko ang ampalaya juice.

Eto ang sakit ko, ang atake sa puso. At isa pa, masochista din ako. Matapos kong manuod ng pelikulang alam kong magbibigay sa akin ng panandaliang paninikip ng dibdib, mga pag-asang hindi ko tinatantanang abutin, ang tumanaw sa kawalan habang nangingilid ang luha sa mata, at kagwapuhang minimithi ng karamihan ay hilig ko ding dagdagan ang koleksyon ko ng mga anik-anik na magbabaon sa aking sarili sa pang habang-buhay na pagkabigo sa pag-ibig. Like this song from the movie I just watched. Effective to sustain the prickle of misery. Walang kokontra dahil alam kong marami din ang makaka-relate sa kantang ito at patay malisyang ishe-share sa fb wall nila at lalagyan ng matinding caption na - LSS. Hahaha!

I just wanna share this song, "All the Beautiful Things" by Eels. Ngayon ko lang sila nakilala at hindi po sila mga nilalang galing sa dagat. Isa silang banda na nagi-intro ng konting words bago simulan ang kanta. Gayunpaman, i-like nyo na din sila sa facebook like I did at samahan nyo akong magbitter-bitteran for a few minutes. Siyet.

*medyo mahaba ang intro ng video so just bear with it.

 

!!! Yadhtrib yppah

It's ma birthday !!! And, I wanna be the first one to greet myself before anyone does. Arte?!?

I don't actually need fancy ways of birthday greetings because it does nothing to me. Nai-insecure kasi ako sa taong mas magaling mag-english kesa sa akin. This will be my 31st birthday in this planet earth, 7 years as a prince and 108 years as a frog. Na-reincarnate kasi ako. Sa akin nagmula ang fairy tale ni frog prince. Joke. In short, every year since then I have the same way, same day, same face and same words of birthday greetings received. I don't have any sort of contention with regards to it, ako na nga ang naalalang batiin, ako pa ang maarte? It's just that my life has been so dreary and the same greeting-card-like-greetings don't make my birthday any special. Kahit si Mark Zuckerberg himself pa ang mag-post sa facebook wall ko at batiin ako ng english accent na "Happy Birthday, Mate! Best of Luck Mathafacka-sana!" ay hindi nya kayang pasayahin ang birthday ko ng bonggang-bongga like venus raj. I'm so full of shameful shit. Ako na!

I don't have anything planned for my birthday this year like how I planned it with nothing last year. I can spare some money from my petty bank account but I opted not to realizing that I have more important things to treat than my birthday. I have my friends to celebrate with me after I make them aware that I will be the one spending for such an occasion but I can't find that reason adequate to make my birthday exceptionally happy. More so, I can give myself a kick of pleasure alone and compel myself that this day is indeed could be a worthy revelry but I feel like I'm decently old to come out and twiddle. A birthday surprise may purge ennui but I get surprised hardly. I have to come to work on that day and that confines my birthday wish list.

If someone is going to ask me if I'm being hateful or cynical, I actually don't know. And, I am hoping that someone help me figure it out since it's my birthday. My closest friends could help me and I hope they would try. It could be the answer to the long-doomed history on why I treat myself with such a woe on a day that everyone treat as a should-not-be-wasted-once-in-a-year-very-much-so-important-occasion-I-don't-care-if-you're-busy-we-must-be-happy. I am really such a douche. Help me, please?!?! Hello?,,..Birthday ko.!

that's me, with my birthday wish. LolS!