People Come, People Go

In our lifetime there is this never ending loop that we all walk through and one best example is change. We can't break that line whether it brings us luck or makes our situation worse. It is one circumstance that we have no choice but to endure until we surpass the squawk induced whatever it takes. Hindi ko talaga naiintindihan ang sinulat kong yan pero sa pakiramdam ko ay pinagdadaanan ko sya ngayon, intensely. Naaalala nyo pa ba ang super friends ko? All of us are about to trip along craggy road only this time we have our own tracks to follow.

Like the cartoon heroes called super friends, meron din kaming kapangyarihang taglay. Ako, kaya kong umutot in a span of two minutes, non-stop. Done it even while sleeping and it's just so gross. Bilis makabawas ng barkada. Si Tere (aka Pia), kaya nyang imanipulate ang isip ng isang lalaki na ma-inlove sa kanya kahit na walang kakayahang ma-inlove ang taong yon sa taong gaya nya. I can prove it with documents and testimonials. Si Nelson, kaya nyang maging babae kahit mukha syang lalake - no make-up required. At si Richard, kaya nyang magpautang kahit one million pesos with only real friendship required. Naks!

Kidding aside, ang tinutukoy kong kapangyarihan ay 'yung tatag namin. I mean endurance. The quality or power of withstanding hardship or stress. Continuation and persistence. 'Yung tipong kaya makipag-sex bente-kwatro oras hanggang matuyuan ng pawis but in the end you still have a happy face. It is when you overcome the real tests from gaining genuine friendship. A power I can consider equally as a blessing not everyone is destined to have.

It's been more than five years since we all gave birth to our friendship here abroad. Para kaming buntis sa hirap ng mga dinanas namin habang nabubuo ang friendship na 'yon. Mahirap mawalay sa pamilya kaya't mahirap mawalay sa kanila dahil sila ang pamilya ko dito. Malulungkot ulit ako. Made-depress until I run-out of sex-appeal. Mawawalan ng drive to pursue my dream of becoming a sensation of whatever trash pursuit I have. Hindi pa man ako sikat, buwag na ang possible fan club ko. Ganun? Actually, hindi kailangan ng anumang uri ng ''kapangyarihan'' para malampasan ang pagdadaanan naming ito. All we need is a complete understanding to accept that this change is normal all people have to go through even though we are more than ordinary people. Hindi naman dahil almost perfect kami ay hindi na kami kailangan dumanas ng changes sa buhay. We also have to go out of our comfort zones and inspire other poeple. We chose and adapted to these changes with huge amount of considerations. We ought to breathe reality even if it sucks. We are all grown-ups and each of us needs room for privacy. Not because I love them, I have to stay with them until we no longer grow as individuals. I don't mean why we are going through this is because we are on a dormant stage of endless, same-ol same-ol, routinal and meaningless prank jokes and quagmire. The judge calls for the order and this is just the time.  We know that this day will come and now that it is finally here, we will all come prepared for it. Or am I?

I may not see you guys as often as the sun,
In my heart and in my mind you'll never be gone.
When things go wrong, you know where to run,
I'll wait for you in the same friendship stand.

My Own Pity

Bakit kaya ganun? Kung kailan may oras akong magsulat saka naman wala akong maisip sulatin?

Medyo mahabang panahon na rin ang lumipas mula nang simulan ko ang kalokohan / ambisyon kong ito at sa mga panahong iyon ay marami akong ninais isulat. Nampucha kasi wala akong camera para kunan ang mga tanawin at bagay-bagay na talaga namang swak na swak (sa tingin ko) isulat sa walang kakwenta-kwenta kong blog. Maging ang mobile phone ko napagbuntungan ko ng galit dahil very poor ang camera nito. Nagkataon pa na poor ako for the past year dahil mula ng naibabad ko ang most high-tech kong telepono sa washing machine kasama ng mga branded kong damit for one hour eh hindi na ako nakabili ng pamalit nito. Nagtitiis ako sa luma kong phone na sapat lang na matawagan ako ng mga taong nakakaalala ng mga utang ko sa kanila. Hindi ako tuloy makapag-upload ng mga pics na pumukaw sa aking kamalayan at dumagdag sa malisyoso kong kaisipan. Maging ang mga kwentong bentang-benta sa akin ay nag-expire na ang mga detalye sa memory kong puno ng gap kaya hindi ko na rin maaaring isulat. I'm such a loser.

Bagong silang lang ako sa mundo ng blogging kaya hindi pa ako organisado sa larangang ito. Pinag-aralan ko at pinaghandaan(?) ang method of blogging ngunit sadyang malupit sa akin ang pagkakataon. Malupit dahil sa trabaho ko ngayon ay kailangan kong gumising ng maaga na hindi ko nakaugaliang gawin. Hindi ako sanay na nagigising ng madaling-araw at maligo. Matagal din akong na-stock sa trabahong tanghali na ang gising ko kaya ngayon ay nasa adjustment period pa ako. Maaga akong natutulog ngayon na kung minsan ay hindi na ako nakakakain ng machete-diet dinner ko. Inaantok ako most of the day kaya wala akong kakayanan na magsulat for my blog. Wala akong choice but to abide by the rules of the federal and labour laws of this fucking country dahil kailangan kong mabuhay. Kailangan ko din kasing bumili ng bagong high-tech na phone. Hihihi.

I made that introduction (ang haba no?) because I am thinking na very ironic ang takbo ng buhay ko ngayon. May mga plano akong hindi ko masimulan because of sudden twist of events that is mostly negative. I quitted my job because I wanted to start anew pero sa paghahanap pa lang ng trabaho minamalas na ako. I have a very admirable work experience pero bokya pa rin ako. I felt so hopeless. I felt so low. I lost my self-esteem - so much. Surprisingly, after finishing the whole season 3 of trueblood online, going out so I can upload new photos on my fb account, 10 weekends surfing on the beach (sosyal), and staying up late repeatedly changing the layout of my blog until I'm satisfied, I received a job offer from a company that I have no working experience in their line of business. They offered me a job beyond my expectation in terms of position and compensation. I gladly accepted the offer and felt I was one lucky whore. I am excited to start working again and to finally go on with my plans. I'm so loving it.

I know everything that happens in a person's life has it's reasons. Hindi ito nangyayari lang basta-basta at hindi maaaring wala itong katuturan sa buhay. Things may seem to be tangled-up but eventually it will straighten out. Parang buhok ng aeta. Sobrang kulot pero kaya pa ring ituwid dahil pwede itong i-rebond. Mahirap gawin pero may paraan. Sa buhay ng tao, marami tayong pinagdadaan na minsan akala natin wala ng katapusan. Nahihirapan tayo at naiisip natin na lagi tayong talo. We tend to pity ourself because we are setting a standard based on other people's situation. Kung ang problema ay hindi natatapos, hindi rin nauubos ang solusyon para dito. In one problem there's a hundred of options to solve it. So, why bother? Gaya ko, hindi ko man magawang meaty and juicy ang blog kong ito katulad ng plano ko pero masaya pa rin ako. Nakakapagsulat ako out of nowhere and still get even the smallest value there is. I could have missed a lot of chance but I know there's still a lot to come. I've been through shit and stuff but there is only one thing I need to do - I have to fight, stay strong and continue. I always look at the bright side of things and what I could gain from such an awful experience. I know wala man akong pambili ng camera or so-much-in-advance mobile phone I believe magkakaroon din ako nito in due time. Malapit na kasi ang birthday ko at sana may mag-regalo. Yehey!

Patience is a virtue



Super Friends

First of all I wanna greet everyone a Happy Valentine's Day. Where's everyone nga pala? Nakalimutan ko, ako lang pala ang nagbabasa ng blog ko. Asus! I have posted my supposedly heart-warming, very inspiring and kaka-kilig na valentine post pero mukhang dinaig ko pa si Gladys Reyes kung manira ng moment ng bida. Muntik ko ng palitan ang screen name ko from Dennis Trillo to Bitter Ocampo pagkatapos kong isulat ang kwentong 'yun. Buti na lang hindi sila pumayag kasi naman unfair para sa kanila.

Mabalik tayo sa uso ngayon, sa Valentine's Day. A day that is all about love. But it is not described merely by people who are romantically involved to each other. Bukod sa mga mahal natin sa buhay gaya ng pamilya, pwede rin ito sa mga bagay na may importansya sa atin o sa mga gawaing nagpapasaya sa atin. Maraming taong espesyal sa aking puso maliban sa mga taong nagkamaling saktan ito. Kaya ang post kong ito ay tungkol sa mga kaibigan kong walang sawang nagbabahagi sa akin ng kanilang pagmamahal. They are truly special to me and I am one lucky bitch to have them.

Special mention to Nelson, Tere (Pia) and Richard. They have been my friends since I started out here abroad. We all had our good times together and the bad which bonded us and made our relationship really strong and personal. We've been through every hardship and trial where every friendship can be tested. Proud ako dahil sa haba ng panahon ng pange-echos namin sa isa't isa ay nakuha pa rin naming seryosohin ang pagkakaibigan namin. Masaya ako dahil sa lakas ng mga asaran at tawanan namin, masasabi kong lahat ng iyon ay mula sa puso at sa kabila ng mga iyakan at tampuhan, mas nananaig ang tibay ng samahan at tiwala namin sa isa't isa. Sa isang taong naninirahan malayo sa piling ng kanyang sariling pamilya ay mahirap makatagpo ng mga taong masasandalan mo tuwing may problema. Tunay na ako ay pinagpala at dahil doon ay gumawa ako ng - tula. Lols! Sa isang simpleng tula na ito na nagmula pa sa mga namamaga kong ugat sa utak at bunga ng bawat pagtibok ng aking sawing puso, nawa mabawasan nito ang mga sakit ng ulo na idinulot ko sa inyo. Aylabya!

I may not be that sweet nor showy of my affection to you but you are truly important and considered as my most treasured friends. I owe you a lot and I love you. Mwah mwah! Tsup tsup! Here it goes.... (pasok "What Are Friends Are For" as background music)





My days are dark and my skies are blue

I have nowhere to run and don't know what to do

I checked myself, I am such a douche

I found you guys and now I'm anew

It's been so long and I have known

All of you guys are my trusted person

I have been weak and so alone

You have been there with me all along

I have been through shit and bitter days

You gave me strength and immesurable displays

of genuine love and support in ways

to a person like me could never be replaced

In the edge where I hang myself

You followed me there and gave relief

You saved me more than an old belief

that a person like me is such a mischief

No words can describe what you did for me

From all my worries you set me free

You gave me hope and love purely

Not all person could feel and see



Heart's Happy Day... Or Not?

Ilang araw na lang at magbabatian na naman tayo ng Happy Valentine's Day. Katulad ng pasko, isa itong okasyon na maituturing para sa ating mga pinoy. Unfortunately, hindi ito considered as non-working holiday. Spend at your own risk. Nevertheless, marami pa rin ang on duty sa araw na ito at kung tutuusin marami ang mas pagod dala ng overtime sa kung saan-saang motel na may promo. Happy hours from dusk til dawn, hayahay! Isa itong espesyal na araw para sa mga taong may minamahal at may nagmamahal at isa namang sumpa para sa mga SSB (Single Since Birth), V na V (Virgin na Virgin) at SMV (Samahan ng Malalamig ang Valentines). Para sa akin, higit pa ito sa isang sumpa sa tagal ng bitterness kong nararamdaman. Napakapait o, kuya eddie.

kung pwede lang, matagal ko ng ginawa 'to. shucks!